Ideas for natural childbirth

This is for you, Tiffany! And it's just one of my favorite subjects so I figured I'd do a post instead of a comment in answer to your question!

So, you're thinking about not having an epidural? Want to know what your options are? Well, I'm no expert but I've got a few ideas and am happy to share!!

When wanting to avoid an epidural these are some things I think are super important:

1. Educate yourself! Read read read read!!! Lots of awesome positive childbirth books! 
One of the keys to success in achieving a non-medicated birth is retraining your brain to NOT BE AFRAID of labor! Reading and learning about the process is a huge step in this. Learn what your body is capable of how awesome it is and let yourself feel empowered and not scared. Fear is what makes labor painful! When you can relax and let your body do it's job labor is less painful and goes much quicker!

This is my new favorite! The one I mentioned last time, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth 

Birthing from Within...

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

Journey into Motherhood - this is full of positive birth stories which are awesome and helpful to read!

Watch this movie: The Business of Being Born

In fact, if anyone is in Utah and is interested we can make it a movie night! I just bought this DVD and would love to have anyone over to watch it and chat about birth!! Just let me know! And I could probably get my expert sister in law Becca to join us and answer any questions you have!

2. Take a childbirth class that focuses or covers natural childbirth and other coping measures

 Like this class taught by Becca - I think she has a few openings left for her class in October!!!

With Robby I took this Hypnobabies class and felt like it really worked!! Looks like that instructor isn't teaching right now but I'd look into that method for sure.

3. Choose a care provider who will be supportive and limit interventions

 OB, Family Practice, Midwife... You have options! Find someone with a low c-section rate (midwives and family practice that's easy because it will be 0 but you can ask about their transfer rate). You want to find a care provider who will be patient and allow labor to progress as normally as possible. Studies show OBs typically want labor to adhere to a schedule (dilating about 1 cm = hour) and when that doesn't happen they are more likely to introduce pitocin or other interventions which are not medically necessary and will make continuing in labor without medication more difficult!

I've had some people ask me what the difference between an OB and a midwife is - A Midwife sees you all throughout your pregnancy just like an OB. I'll be seeing her once a month till the end, then it goes to every 2 weeks, then once a week. My apts with her are 30 min - 1 hr, as opposed to the 5 minutes some OBs schedule for you. She is concerned with your nutrition and any questions you might have and it's important to create a relationship of trust through the pregnancy.

**On this same note, CONSIDER GIVING BIRTH AT A BIRTH CENTER OR AT HOME.

I know this will sound very foreign to most of you and you might not know anyone who has done this so let me be an example for you! The easiest way to avoid unnecessary interventions is to stay out of a hospital. Hospitals continue to stick to policies that have shown to have no benefits to women or babies and if anything are detrimental (the "nothing by mouth" rule which restricts you from eating or drinking in labor; continuous electronic fetal monitoring which has shown to have no benefit over intermittent listening and has been linked to higher c-section rates and use of forceps). Ok, sorry guys, this is probably more info than you're interested in but I've just learned so much and feel like I'm bursting to share!!!

So it's just something to consider - some women don't even know these options exist and I want them to be aware of what's out there!

4. Hire a doula to support and guide you through your labor

Even if you have the most doting, loving, supportive husband I think having a doula is probably the BIGGEST key to having a non medicated birth! Having a trained labor support person with you through every moment who comes with a bag of tricks and knows comfort measures and position changes and can make suggestions is priceless. Or, if you are worried about the price, a doula costs a couple of hundred dollars (I think we paid $350 for ours) but if you consider the price of an epidural which is what? $500? So if you pay for a doula in place of an epidural that's pretty good!

You can go here to look for a doula in Utah. I chose a few to interview and then picked from there!

Like I said, I'm not an expert, this is just my opinion!

My story 

I knew I didn't want an epidural because there was no way someone was sticking a huge needle in my back. End of story. So I needed another option to manage the pain. I began looking around at childbirth classes in my area and settled on Hypnobabies. 

I went with the first doctor my friend's recommended and while he was a great doctor to THEM it was clear he wasn't what I wanted when I walked in and saw a sign on the wall in the waiting room that said something like, "If you are planning on using a doula or Hypnobirthing or Bradley Method please let us know so we can transfer your records." Oooookay. At least they were upfront about it so I knew right away I needed to change. I went with the 2nd recommendation and that doctor while he seemed "ok" with the idea of me wanting natural childbirth the first appointment but at the second when I started asking more detailed questions he was impatient and I could tell when it cam down to it he didn't really care. Third doctor - I set up an apt to interview Dr. Shelly Savage before I switched my records over and she seemed very open to helping a woman have her birth be whatever she wants. I went with her and was very happy! But it was hard and awkward to switch doctors! Here's a tip - if you find a NEW doctor you can ask THEM to request your records from the old doctor and you don't even have to tell them. Figured that out by doctor 3.

Throughout my pregnancy I read and learned and my opinions on birth developed... I had stronger reasons for not wanting an epidural and was excited about natural childbirth! 

I had a great experience with Robby with Dr. Savage, my doula Angie, and at Timpanogos Hospital. But I know I can have an awesome experience at home with my midwife Sherri, my sister Becca as my doula, and hopefully in the water! While it's totally possible to have a great experience in a hospital you are definitely going against the grain of their usual procedures and it can feel like a fight at times. I'm excited to be in my own home and have only my supportive team around me... 

Whew, sorry for being so wordy! Can't give a short answer! All she asked for was "A BOOK" recommendation and this is what you get. :)

I found one!

So after my three interviews I've settled on a midwife - Sherri Price! She is great! I knew even just from our 2 phone conversations (first to make an apt for an interview, second to change the date of that apt) that I probably would end up liking her the best! She was very interested in how I was doing even though I wasn't her patient yet.

We met with Sherri first on Thursday afternoon at 5. We had a nice hour long visit with lots of chatting and Rob and I were both really comfortable with her. She told us about her and her 20 years of midwifery experience and most importantly we just clicked!

Rob was ready to have me cancel the other 2 apts since I liked her so much but I just felt like if I went ahead and did the other interviews the worst that could happen is I'd be more convinced that she was the one for me.

Thursday at 8:30 pm we went to the Better Birth birth center and met with Suzanne. She gave us a tour of the birth center which is a beautiful facility and I was curious to see it even though I knew I wanted to go the homebirth route. It was a different kind of interview - more... official? We reviewed my medical history and she said she saw no reason why if this is what I wanted I shouldn't be able to do this. We asked her our questions... she was very nice and I think the midwives there are all very experienced and any of them would do a good job but one of the benefits I'm looking for in a midwife is that I will be building a relationship with this person throughout my whole pregnancy and then they will be the one to be there to support me in my labor and birth. Going with a practice where you rotate through a group of midwives isn't my first choice for this pregnancy.

 

They have a beautiful bed, awesome jetted tub, and kitchen stocked with drinks and frozen food and snacks for mom and other people there while she's laboring...

Friday at 5:30 we met with Heather Shelley at the birth center she runs in Pleasant Grove. Again, we toured the facility even though we let her know we were planning on birthing at home. It was a nice place - a much older home compared to the brand new Better Birth facility but still looked like a great option for someone who is looking for a birth center. Heather was very nice and we asked her our questions and chatted a little and once again I just knew we weren't clicking as well as I had with Sherri.

After that I just felt excited that it was over - that I did it! I looked around, did some interviews, and get to have this amazing person as my care provider!!! I left her a message yesterday (Saturday) and I'm hoping I'll be able to go in for an appointment this week or very soon and hopefully we can hear the heart beat on a doppler or something! I've had some cramping this weekend which I know is totally normal but it just reminds me of my miscarriage and makes me worry!!

So yes, we are planning on a home birth. I'm sure there will be lots of you who think I'm crazy and I will say 10 years ago I wouldn't have believed I would do this and now I can't imagine it ANY OTHER WAY. The education and exposure I've had has led me to choose this and I know that this is a great option for us and I hope I can share with you guys some of the things I've learned over the next few months! If you think I'm nuts I'd ask that you have an open mind as I share some of what I've learned and if you don't think you can be supportive feel free to stop reading my blog now because I'll probably be bringing this up from time to time!

Right now I feel like I can't get ENOUGH of birth books - I'm kind of obsessively thinking about giving birth right now! I can't wait! I feel so lucky that I have the chance to have another baby and know it's going to be another awesome experience like it was with Robby! The books I've read recently that were very informative:
Gentle Birth Choices
The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth

I really recommend the second one (Thinking Woman) - I wish I could quote the entire intro to explain to you guys why I think a homebirth is such a good option for me but that would take a long time (and maybe be illegal?) but it is great.

Search for a midwife

I am 10 weeks now and feeling really good! Besides having a dumb cold all week that is. I'm not really nauseous and I want to take a nap most days but it's not like I can't get out of bed.  I was really relieved after seeing the ultrasound and then felt grateful about not having bad pregnancy symptoms but the longer time goes on and I don't feel that "pregnant" it makes me wonder a little and wish I had a doppler so I could just check for baby's heartbeat again!

While I haven't decided on my care provider yet I have three appointments set up this week with midwives and I'm really excited about them! And maybe one of them will let me use their doppler for a minute to put my mind at ease. I know my uterus is tipped so the baby is farther away from the surface though and it still might be a little early to hear anything but we'll see.

The midwives I'm meeting with are:

Sherri Price
Heather Shelley
Better Birth midwives


I'll update you all after my interviews!

ONE Baby!

We were thrilled to have our ultrasound on Monday show there is ONE baby with a good strong heartbeat growing in my tummy! We would've been really excited for twins but mostly we were just relieved to see a heartbeat!!!

We survived our trip back east and traveling home and then it was just 2 days left before the ultrasound! It was nice to be so well distracted before hand. I didn't realize how NERVOUS I was until we were sitting in the waiting room for a longer than usual wait and I started feeling pretty sick to my stomach.

For those who don't know I had a miscarriage and so my last ultrasound experience ended in looking for a heartbeat and baby and finding a barely there 6 week old fetal pole that had stopped developing. This made me feel pretty nervous and anxious...

We sat for 15 minutes in the waiting room... then probably another 5 with that sheet thing draped over me waiting for the doctor to come in.... I joked to Rob I was going to take the ultrasound probe and just do it myself!

As soon as Dr Foulk began the ultrasound I saw the baby instantly... and a few seconds later he held it still and I could see little baby's heartbeat fluttering!!!! RELIEF!!! I just was so happy I forgot that we were looking to see if there might be more than one baby! He measured the little guy and we got to listen to his heartbeat - so amazing! Then I asked, "so we only see one baby in there, right??" He said yup and scanned side to side to make sure there wasn't anything else in there.

They gave us three printed off ultrasound pics and a little card signed by all the workers at the Fertility center, it was very nice. Dr. Foulk said I "graduated" to my OB or care provider and when I settle on who my midwife will be he wants to send them a letter with some background on what happened.

 Listening to the heartbeat... 177.33....

 It was so amazing to see baby's legs and arms kick and move around!!

 It says he's measuring 8w6d which is 2 days bigger than based on my due date which doesn't change anything in my opinion it's just great to see he's a good size!! Looks perfect to me!

We had to race straight from the ultrasound apt to Heber for my acupuncture apt - on the way, before we lost service in the canyon, we called a few people and sent a bunch of texts to spread the word. We called Robby first - my sister in law, Becca, was watching him at her house so we called and asked for him and I told him, "Mommy has ONE baby in her tummy!" I was worried he'd be disappointed since he kept saying he was hoping it was TRIPLETS (which would've been quite the unusual thing since we only put in 2 eggs!) but he seemed happy right away. When we came back from our apts to pick him up we walked in the door and from across the room he shouted happily, "MOM! You have ONE BABY in your tummy!!!" So I was glad he was happy!

When we got home we found Taba, my sister, had left us a fun surprise to celebrate in the fridge - some Martinelli's! So we cracked it open and took some pictures to mark the occasion!

I was sad I didn't get a chance to blog about it the last 2 nights since after Robby's gone to bed I've done nothing but work until I'm about to pass out! 

Speaking of passing out, I have definitely been more tired but not completely exhausted. I've been more nauseous but not throwing up. At first I was wishing I was more sick so I would feel more reassured but after seeing baby's sweet little heartbeat I can just be grateful I haven't been more sick!

The one thing I've got is a (what feels to me!) a giant tummy already. I was thinking twins would've made a lot of sense but that's ok! I stuck out right away with Robby too (and feel the same way symptom wise as I did with him too - does that mean it's a boy? we shall see!) so I'm trying to not worry about it but I'm already finding I look awkward in all my clothes and don't know what to wear! It doesn't help that when I was reading on some pregnancy site that at 8 weeks "you probably have a bulge but it's just water retention." Boo. It's just not as fun since I worked so hard to lose all that weight earlier this year but it's DEFINITELY worth it!!!!!!

Oh well! It doesn't help that not only am I not sick or throwing up but I feel like I'm starving all of the time!!! At every meal I feel like I'm eating at least double and am hungry every 2 hours... I decided if I'm going to be eating so much food to just try not to eat so many treats! Because I think you should listen to your body but that doesn't give me an excuse to fill it with junk... so wish me luck! Since today Doritos were sounding amazing... and Panda Express...

All in all we are just SO GRATEFUL and SO EXCITED!!!!

And now it feels like I can just breathe a little easier and I'm starting to get deeper into my search for a midwife! And can plan on taking a childbirth class - this time I get to take one from my wonderful sister in law, Becca, who is a doula, and I've been lucky enough to be at 2 of her homebirths and this woman knows how to give birth!!! She's teaching a round of childbirth classes this October at her home in North Orem if anyone else is interested let me know!!!

Once again thanks for all of you guys' support you are awesome!!!

Growing strong...

My day 20 HCG test came back with good results!!! (20 days after the transfer)

Since I'm out of town I had to just go to this LabCorp office to get my blood test. It was actually kind of convenient because I was able to make an apt online and it took only like 20 minutes total. Much better than if I'd had to go do it at a hospital or something! They told me they'd call my dr's office with the results and I would get a call that same day. My apt was at 10 am eastern time so they'd get the results nice and early!

So again I knew it'd probably be a phone call around either lunch time or 4 pm west coast time. I also noticed just a definite change in my mood from the minute I did the blood test - I just was anxious. I don't really even feel that pregnant at all yet so I was nervous for a low HCG count.

Anne Marie from the Fertility center called me around 5 pm my time - so I had the whole day to be nervous - and she immediately told me, "Ok we had a good high HCG count today! Your level was over 4,000!" I was so relieved I didn't ask her the exact HCG count but that's ok. As long as she thinks it's good! She told me to keep taking my progesterone and we talked about scheduling my ultrasound. I will be 7 weeks next Thursday so if I was in Utah I could go in that day (July 28th) for my ultrasound but I asked if I should do it out here in MD and she said let's just wait till I get back to UT because she wants me to do it with Dr. Foulk. So I have it scheduled for Mon Aug 8th! Then we'll know! Twins or a singleton!!!!!

Again this was great news and such a relief! Very encouraging! Like I said especially since I don't feel like I have a lot of "symptoms" yet but I know it's still really early. I would just feel better if I was throwing up. :) I know you're probably saying be careful what you wish for but I'm serious. I am tired and my tummy feels a little off after eating but that's all really. Wish I could get an HCG count every day to just make sure it's growing and growing!

If you're thinking I'm sounding neurotic just remember I did have a miscarriage so I feel like my fears are valid. I know there's nothing I can do besides I'm just trying to take it easy, think positively, and say lots of prayers! I always say I was happy that I enjoyed every minute of my last pregnancy even if it ended in a miscarriage and so I do feel like I want to do that again and I'm trying! I'm so grateful to be pregnant and I do have a good feeling about this!!!

So I'll make sure to keep you guys posted - can't wait for that ultrasound!!!!

2 lines

Oh yeah! And not just because of some HCG shot either! These pics are from Sunday. It was so awesome to see those lines pop up right away and that pregnancy line super dark!!!!

I did another test today and it was a lot the same so that's good! I am going to Maryland tomorrow for 3 weeks so I have to do my day 20 blood test on Monday in MD. I was able to make an apt online at a LabCorp location and hopefully that works out well. Then we'll do the ultrasound either just before I leave MD or right when I get back - I'm so excited for that!

On Wednesday I had another acupuncture apt (I've been going every week but will miss a few weeks while I'm in MD) and he said that when you are pregnant your pulse changes and it becomes more "slippery" and that's what's happened to mine. Also, he said that Chinese medicine says that one side (right or left wrist) will have a stronger pulse depending on the sex of the baby and so based on that he thinks I'm having a boy. It'll be interesting to see if that's the case or not! As Taba said, you mean a boy AND a girl! :) I wish.

It's been a great week - a load has been lifted off of my shoulders with this good news and I'm feeling really good and hopeful about things. I've been getting pretty tired and after I eat my stomach usually feels upset - but anything that feels like "pregnant" I just get giddy about!

Well, wish me luck flying to MD tomorrow just me and Robby! Rob flies out later next week! Robby is such a good helper and such a big boy I know we'll do great but I always get a little nervous of flying without Rob. Oh, and I'm trying to take my medications in my carry-on with my needles too so I'm hoping they don't give me any issues with that. We'll see! I'll let you know!

Thanks for all your support everyone!

I'm pregnant!

It worked! It worked!!! We're actually pregnant!

 Pictures Tab took to remember this wonderful day!!!!

So to answer the main question we've gotten - we'll find out if it's twins or a "singleton" in about 3 weeks when they do a 7 week ultrasound. So that means I'm like 4 weeks pregnant. I'll be due around middle of March. And apparently HCG levels do not indicate whether it's twins or not because HCG levels for twins are the same normal range for singleton babies. Interesting, huh?

I want to remember as much as possible about this day so here goes - it's going to be super long!

Rob and Robby came with me to my appointment for my blood draw at 9:30 which was great because the one on Wednesday kind of started me on a downward nervous spiral. Robby got to watch and he got a good show as it took her 4 pokes to get me. He wanted to see how they got blood from my arm - he's so interested in this whole process.

I was able to ask Anne-Marie, a nurse, a few questions before we left - like what if it doesn't work? How do we do a frozen cycle? We are going to be in MD for most of July so next month wouldn't work - she said we didn't need to do any birth control or anything beforehand just we could do it after getting my period next time. And what if I am pregnant and only 1 egg took would I still get a period or have some bleeding? Apparently no, she said the other egg would dissolve and if there were bleeding or spotting it would be for other reasons. I felt a little better with some more info. I said so you'll call at either lunch time or like 4, right and she said, "we'll call you as soon as we can!"

We got home around 10 and I waited for my sister Taba to get here - we gathered up for the pool. I was feeling kind of sick to my stomach... the nerves I think. It was overcast and even a tiny bit drizzly but we headed over to the pool anyway. Rob was going to work from home for the morning - I told him to come over to the pool as SOON AS POSSIBLE - I wanted him by my side for when they called! Which I thought would not be till 1 or 4.

At about 12 I went to let Becca & the kids in to the pool then I checked my phone - WHAT? Missed call at 11:52? They called! THEY CALLED! I started freaking out! Taba and Becca screamed - what should I do? What should I do? Should I go home? Get Rob? YES. Ok. I hugged the girls, we were all in nervous tears, and ran home. My hands were shaking so hard trying to unlock the door, why did he lock the deadbolt? Ahhh!!! I kind of slammed the door and he popped out of the office into the hallway - he looked like he was seeing a ghost, he said I looked nervous. I said, "we need to call them back! Now!" Andrew was working in the office with him... we went in our room and shut the door.

I could barely contain myself trying to scroll down in my contacts to "Utah Fertility" all the way to the U's... "Utah Fertility Center, this is Kim, how can I help you?" I told her Tonya had just called me and I was calling her back... she said she was finishing up another call and to wait so she put us on hold for the LONGEST 3 MINUTES OF MY LIFE as I tried to breathe squeezing Rob's hand as we sat on our bed...

Finally Tonya gets on the phone, "Hi Esther this is Tonya," in her soft quiet voice I was thinking OH NO is this bad? Then in a kind of teasing voice, "I hear you're dying for some news!" Okaaaay get to the point lady! "I'm happy to tell you that you are pregnant." And I lost it.

I nodded my head to Rob and tried to smile. I ugly cried and tried to say, "thank you," I don't know if she heard or understood me. She let me just cry for a minute. It's a little hazy how/what she said after that but she said we'll want to check my HCG levels again in 10 days so I'll have to do it when I'm in MD (need to figure out the best place to that - hospital?) and she said to take it easy...

She said "your HCG levels are beautiful. It was 27 on Wednesday and we want to see them double and they did, today was 75 so that's perfect." That gave me some comfort that so far it was growing strong!

I was apparently sounding pretty upset from what Andrew could hear with only crying no cheering - you guys my heart was soaring but the emotions were just so overpowering crying was all I could do! - so Andrew walked outside over towards the pool where Becca and Taba were just waiting as anxious as could be. They saw Andrew walking towards them with his head down, not meeting their eyes, and he kind of shook his head... they said their hearts just broke because they thought it was bad news! He said she would probably be crying if it was good too just he didn't hear anything helpful - luckily we could see him walking past our balcony so when we got off the phone with Tonya I opened my balcony door - we could see the girls at the pool standing at the gate and Andrew on the other side of it and they all looked upset. They saw me crying and Taba said she thought I was going to shake my head no but then I shouted out, "IT WORKED!!" and they all screamed and then were crying tears of relief and joy. It was very intense.

I wanted to see Robby, he was at the pool with him - they called him to come to the gate and Taba lifted him up and I yelled again, "It worked!!! Mommy's pregnant!" I wish I could've told him to his face more directly but I didn't want to wait. I came down to the pool a minute later and he looked up at me and said, "You have a baby!" I pulled him close to me and hugged and kissed him. I explained, "This means the eggs turned into babies or a baby and we'll find out soon if it was 1 baby or 2 babies. Sometimes babies can stop growing in their mommies so now we just need to pray that the baby will grow healthy and strong so it can grow all the way into a brother or sister for you! But this is really exciting and great that mommy is pregnant!"

Tonight before he went to bed he said to me, "I hope the baby doesn't escape." I said, "The baby's not going to try to escape! Just sometimes they aren't strong enough to grow all the way..." He said, "well, if I pray for it and you and daddy and everyone in our family like Papa and Grandpa Parsons and Andrew and Becca and everyone-" and I said, "Yes, lots and lots of people will be praying for the baby to grow! But Heavenly Father knows what's best and he'll take good care of us."

He knows this is a happy wonderful thing - I just want him to be prepared and not crushed if I were to have another miscarriage. And you know what, I feel like he gets it. Today he said he thinks it's going to be 1 baby and that it will be a baby brother. We shall see.

So after finding out the news so early we were all able to breathe a little bit! Rob and Andrew finished up some work in the house and I made some phone calls and texts to spread the news! Finding out so early let us really enjoy and celebrate the rest of the day! It started to get more and more drizzly and we had the great idea to go and leave all the kids at Taba's house and go to the Cheesecake Factory! Having big cousins around to babysit is awesome! :) Rob had to be back by 7 to leave for Girl's Camp (he had to go up and be like a security guard overnight tonight) so we raced up there and had a yummy dinner! We walked around the mall for a few minutes after where I will admit I bought a few really on sale items at Baby Gap to celebrate. :)
 

 YAY!!!!!!

We came home and Rob had to leave but that was ok - I snuggled Robby and we read lots of stories. He's going to be the best big brother! Then sometimes it's nice to have a quiet evening to yourself - especially when you have a NOVEL of a blog post to write such as this! I watched Runaway Bride and hopefully will be able to fall asleep soon cause I know I'm exhausted!

I wish I had more pictures - I have lots in my mind! And I know there will be tons to come!

We are so happy and so relieved! We know our journey isn't over but this is a huge step in the right direction! We feel so blessed and so lucky to have so many people praying for us and supporting us through this. I am floored by the amount of people that respond to my posts and updates and it strengthens us knowing we have so many people rooting for us! So thank you for all of your support!